This is now...looking back.

It is so interesting to look back now at our expectations and goals 6 years ago, when we were engaged and newly married, and to see how different life turns out than what you sometimes expect. I thought by now we'd have a house full of little ones, or at least have two or three of them running around! I thought Shane would continue to major in Math and probably end up a teacher. I thought by now I would have my bachelor's degree. And I know I didn't expect to be living in the "Valley of the Sun," not even just a little!

But here we are. We've been married 6 years today and things are so far from what I could have guessed on the day Shane and I became a family. We had no idea:

1. We would find out within a few months of getting married that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant without serious risk to my own health and to the health of an unborn child and that we'd find out we couldn't start the adoption process until we'd been married at least two years.

2. I would have to experience a slow decline in my cardiovascular health until I was on the border of congestive heart failure.

3. I would take a break from B.Y.U. during this time and be able to attend and graduate from The Utah College of Massage Therapy, and become licensed and certified, despite the challenges I was facing physically.

4. I would travel to Los Angeles to have open-heart surgery performed by Dr. Hillel Laks, a world renowned expert and incredibly capable surgeon, the day after Christmas at age 23.

5. Shane and I would each learn so much at such a young age.

6. I would have my health restored and my life expectancy returned to normal, and that it would mean I would have to click like a Swatch watch for the rest of my life!

7. We would still have to wait two-and-a-half more years to finally hold our first child in our arms.

8. Shane would end up graduating in Electrical Engineering with minors in Math and Spanish and get a job working for Intel in ARIZONA of all places!

9. I would leave B.Y.U. with three Independent Study courses left to complete my degree in Home and Family Life with an emphasis in Housing and Interior Design. (Don't worry, I'm still planning on finishing, hopefully in time to graduate in 2008!)

10. I would be grateful in the end for all that I've come through and all that I've learned over the last six years, despite the difficulties I experienced every day along the way. I feel as though I have been blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord

11. We would finally own our own little home.

12. Time would pass so quickly once we finally had a little one of our own!

Carter was placed in our arms for the first time just a few days before our fifth anniversary. We were filled with more love and more joy than we even thought possible as a family. We were truly celebrating our anniversary in the best way possible. Over the last year we have just loved every second with him, and now I can look back and reflect on the last six years and admit that I so look forward to the next six, although this time around, I know better than to have solid expectations! I can't imagine what the Lord has in store for the next round, but I know if we hang in there and follow the commandments, we will be so blessed no matter what challenges come our way!

I love you, I love you, I love you Shane! Muwah!