I was unpacking from our trip to Utah and found Carter creating a parking lot around an empty suitcase -- I love it!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
High Standards
We are so glad this nearby high school sets such high standards for it's students...
We thought better advice for high school students would be simply, "Don't Drink." Then next year they could raise the bar a bit with something like, "Be Cool. Stay in School."
Don't get us wrong, some of our best friends are Padres, and they are great students. We're just thinking the student body in general could benefit from a greeting that shows a little more confidence in their potential.
REALLY? That's the best you can do??
We thought better advice for high school students would be simply, "Don't Drink." Then next year they could raise the bar a bit with something like, "Be Cool. Stay in School."
Don't get us wrong, some of our best friends are Padres, and they are great students. We're just thinking the student body in general could benefit from a greeting that shows a little more confidence in their potential.
REALLY? That's the best you can do??
Saturday, June 27, 2009
My Apology
Here is one more picture from the luncheon after Grandma's funeral. The H family has experienced a major baby boom. These are not even all of the babies that have been born this year! Shane's sister Mindy had a baby boy, Zach, earlier this year, but Mindy and family had left just a bit before this picture was taken. Also, Shane's sister Kim adopted her sweet new baby boy, Kenyon, just days before Grandma passed away. Kenyon was still in the hospital the day of the funeral. Forgive me if there have been others this year that I can't remember right now, I think there might be even more. Notice the only girl of the bunch on the far right -- Rebecca's baby, Elizabeth. What are the odds that only one girl was born, but seven boys?! All I can think is poor girl at the reunions! Good thing she has lots of older girl cousins to protect her!
I had a really bittersweet moment as I took the picture above of all the mommas and babies. I think you all know that we were chosen (in December) to adopt a little baby boy due in April (he was due the exact same day as Mary's baby, the one in the lion bib), but then, in January, the beautiful, sweet girl who had chosen us decided instead that she was going to parent. We knew the risk was part of the roller coaster ride that is adoption, but she had been so sure and it had all felt so wonderful.
Although we have done pretty well since the failed match, certain days or moments have been harder for me (i.e. The baby's due date, Mother's day, or the days Carter asks where the baby is or tells me he needs a baby sister or brother...). If you haven't experienced this loss, you may not be able to understand, but for us it's like a miscarriage pretty far along in the pregnancy. There is a child that is coming to your family. You prepare, you open your heart and begin to love...not only the child, but the birth mother, and in our case, her family as well. I could go on and on, but many of you already know this story.
Post-Service Luncheon
Carter and Shane as we head into the luncheon in the cultural hall.
I loved that the tables were decorated with some of Grandma's favorite things -- Boston Baked Beans and Red Vines. Also, on each of the tables was a card with a memory of Grandma. The card at our table said Grandma was remembered as a "true & faithful disciple" by a member of her study group.
I loved that the tables were decorated with some of Grandma's favorite things -- Boston Baked Beans and Red Vines. Also, on each of the tables was a card with a memory of Grandma. The card at our table said Grandma was remembered as a "true & faithful disciple" by a member of her study group.
A beautiful day.
Grandma H's Life Celebrated
After Grandma's funeral, which was very sweet, we all followed outside to bid her a final farewell. The oldest grandson from each family was invited to be a pallbearer, so Shane was asked to participate. Oh how I wish I had a picture of the moment Shane spent with Grandpa just after Grandma's casket was loaded into the hearse. I was just getting out my camera, hesitant to whip it out and start snapping right at first. I hope I can remember that picture in my mind forever though. It was really tender and emotional. There was a scheduling conflict, so the internment at the cemetery was not held until a few days after the funeral. Therefore, we were not traveling to the cemetery right afterward. I took some candid shots to capture the reverent, reflective time while everyone just lingered for a bit outside, sharing hugs and greetings before we went back inside for the luncheon prepared by the ward.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Road Trip to Celebration of Grandma H
The drive to Utah for Grandma H's funeral was a pleasant one, thanks to Joe and Claudia renting a big van for all of us to travel in together. The trip goes much faster with good company, music, and conversation. I also noticed that it was a more beautiful drive than usual because of the increase in rain and decrease in heat we have enjoyed this year so far. The landscape was green and more colorful than I ever remember it being this time of year.
Here's the view from the dam bridge in Page.
Joe and Claudia did the driving, bless them.
Shane spent the majority of the trip between two little boys (entertaining them) way in the back of the van... really BLESS him!
Monica and baby Grant were my seat mates for the majority of the trip.
We had fun and Grant became my buddy. :)
We stopped at a park for lunch in Kanab and let the little boys run around.
We also had to stop at the cheese factory/dairy in Beaver for squeeky cheese curd,
chocolate-covered cinnamon bears, and ice cream. Here's Pratt with his ice cream cone.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Grandma H
From the moment I met Grandma and Grandpa H in the Spring of 2001, I have been crazy about them. I still remember that first moment when Shane introduced me to them and the generous, genuine smiles on their kind faces put me at ease. They welcomed me into the family and loved me simply because Shane loved me and they loved him. I have so much appreciation and respect for them and have cherished the time we've spent in their presence. They are such a magnificent example of eternal companionship to us.
Last night, Grandma H passed away. In many ways this is a huge blessing. Grandma, as her family knew her, had been distant for a while. Alzheimer's had taken away some of who she used to be in the last few years. But it had also intensified her sweetness and her smile I think. We are grateful that Grandma doesn't have to live in a failing mortal body any longer and we are grateful that Grandpa can know she is in a better place with those loved ones who have gone on before her. Grandpa has been such a devoted husband and has so intensely loved Grandma, standing by her side throughout their marriage. Grandma did so much good in her lifetime and I am glad I knew her and felt her tender spirit in my life over the last eight years. We love you and will miss you Grandma! Much love to Grandpa! We look forward to being with you soon to celebrate Grandma's life.
Pictures taken in Rocky Point, Mexico in December of 2007.Monday, June 22, 2009
Broken System?
Last week I stumbled across a sibling group of two adorable brothers (age one and three) on a "waiting children" photolisting online. I was pulled in as I saw their picture and after talking to hubby about it and getting a very positive response from him, I sent in an inquiry via the contact form on the state website where we had found the boys' profile. I would normally just have waited at that point to see if I heard back fromt he boys' caseworker. However, the website said they would only be accepting home studies through Monday June 22, 2009 at 4:30 pm. I knew that we'd have to get ours sent right away, so I only gave it one day before I called the worker. No answer...then the voicemail picked up but said the inbox was full so I couldn't leave a message. I tried back several times that day and the next with no success, so I finally contacted the supervisor of the worker (her name and number were included in the voicemail message).
It took a few days and several more calls before I actually heard back from the worker. She asked me to tell her about our family and to start by telling her who was in our family. I explained that my hubby is 29, I am 28, and we have a son that we adopted as an infant that will be three next month. Without hearing ANYTHING else about us, she said young children tend to vie for attention. I agreed. My husband and I have served in the nursery at church on and off through our eight years of marriage. In nursery, we tend the group of about 10-20 18-month to three-year-old children for two hours each Sunday. I kind of chuckled to myself about how well I knew that young children "vie for attention." I waited to hear what her next question would be. Instead I simply heard her say that since we already had a young child we probably wouldn't be a good match for these boys seeing as how they would all want attention. It took me a moment to realize she was done with me.
I was dumbfounded to say the least. I literally was speechless. All I knew to do was to politely thank the worker for calling and hang up feeling like my stomach had wedged itself up inside of my throat. I began to think about all the things I should have said. Maybe something like this:
"Is there a specific reason these kids would struggle with another young child in the home beyond regular kid stuff?" Or maybe "Um, with all due respect, I don't agree that just because we have a toddler already we should be excluded from consideration. Is there something you aren't telling me? Do these boys have specific needs that require them not to have another similarly-aged sibling?"
When I told Shane, he was mad too. He said something like, "So pretty much it sounds like a broken system. We keep hearing that kids need us, but when we inquire about them we are shut down and ignored. Are they really making this about the kids?"
I've been stewing for a few days now. I can't stop thinking about the boys today. Home studies had to be in three hours ago. I think I have finally come up with what I really want to tell the worker. I hope you don't mind me venting it to you:
How about, "Well, wouldn't you like to learn a bit more about us before you so hastily judge us? My husband has 10 siblings, I have five, and we have dozens of nieces and nephews we have grown up loving and taking care of. Oh, and both of us come from not only big but also happy stable families. Don't get me wrong, we have problems like everyone else, but we understand that it's about love, not perfection. In addition to our son, five more children have been adopted by three of our siblings. All of these adoptions have brought children of different backgrounds into our home and we absolutely respect and celebrate those children and their heritage. Even my father-in-law is an adoptee and understands and expresses gratitude for the love of a family who took him in as a teenager and has never looked back with anything but love and acceptance.
"I babysat almost every weekend of my life between the ages of 10 and 21. So did my husband. When we were dating in college, he still stayed home with six of his younger siblings one weekend night a week so his parents could go out. In fact, that was what we for did our second date -- hung out with his siblings. He rocked and sung his little sister to sleep that night and I fell for him a little more because of it.
"My majors in college were Marriage, Family, and Human Development and Home and Family Living. Shane took several of my classes with me (Marriage Enhancement, Child Development, Strengthening Families, etc.) so that we could be on the same page as a partnership in parenting. Shane majored in Elecrical Engineering and has a minor in Spanish. He can speak and write fluently. He has a great job and I am able to stay home to be a momma, all I've ever wanted to be. While waiting for our opportunity to be blessed with children, we volunteered and worked as weekend house parents at a children's crisis nursery. We worked as foster and adoption respite care providers, got calls from CPS and took in children who had just been removed from their homes and some who had to be "detoxed" at the hospital because they were removed from meth houses. We spent nights tending kids who were potty training, throwing up, acting out, scared, sad, and lonely. There were children with disabilities, children who screamed or cried for hours at a time, children who needed constant one-on-one undivided attention to be manageable, children who stole and hoarded food because they knew what it was like to really be starving, and there were children who had been abused. We cared for up to 10 children at any given time of day or night and did just fine, all by ourselves. We had to say good-bye to kids who begged us not to go, who had no "home" to speak of and had become attached to us. They are the reason we decided we needed to look at waiting children in the first place. When I went home crying, wanting to take these kids home and care for them myself, I knew it would be painful, but that I would one day be a foster parent.
"Do you still think we might not be able to handle three young kids?"
What do you think? Should I have said something to her?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Happy Fathers' Day 2009!
Swimming Together on Friday, June 19, 2009If you've met Shane, I don't have to tell you that he was made to be a father. He's a natural. One time the lady cutting Carter's hair at Snip-its threatened to steal Shane and take him home because he was so good with Carter. She gave me the same lecture my mother always does about how I better realize what I've got and appreciate him. She had blue acrylic nails seriously long enough to make her look like Edward Scissorhands (the reason Shane had to calm Carter in the first place). Shane gave a nervous laugh and forced a smile... and we've never gone back there since. Today the ward nursery leader at church informed Shane that he's never ever going to be released from his calling in there (as he had several children clinging to him). The point is, anyone can tell Shane is an amazing daddy just by watching him with his son or any other child. I just wanted to publicly thank him for all he does and tell him I love him!
Happy Father's Day Babe!
and PS...I was serious about what I said about the condition of your Fathers' Day gift!
;)
Friday, June 19, 2009
Buddy Pratt and Ant Lions
Carter is loving the fact that he has a friend to play with while Pratt is visiting this month. Sure, they've had their moments (i.e. Pratt beating Carter with the toy screw driver and Carter slapping Pratt in retaliation), but overall, they've had a blast being buddies.
Tonight they became obsessed with the holes of ant lions in Nana Claudia and Grandpa Joe's backyard. Shane was exploring with them and to get them to come inside after dark, he found a National Geographic video online about ant lions and brought the boys in to watch it... over and over and over again. They were mesmerized.
Tonight they became obsessed with the holes of ant lions in Nana Claudia and Grandpa Joe's backyard. Shane was exploring with them and to get them to come inside after dark, he found a National Geographic video online about ant lions and brought the boys in to watch it... over and over and over again. They were mesmerized.
I had never even heard of ant lions before, so I guess I learned something new. But if you ask me, this video is just plain creepy! Boys will be boys!Swim Party with Grant and Pratt
It's hard to be a baby. First of all, everyone else gets to go swimming while you have to take a nap. Then, when you do wake up, they take you outside in the bright light and expect you not to get cranky. 
Meet Grant. 
Isn't he the cutest? Grant is Monica and Jon's recent addition. They live in Ohio, but Monica (Shane's cousin) is here visiting with her two little guys for a whole month. During said month, not only will Father's Day happen, but Jon's birthday as well. I took pity on Jon and went crazy with the camera hoping to get some decent shots to fill him in on what he's missing. (Note: Jon is a photographer. I am not.) For the rest of you, just enjoy these cute kiddos. There are some of my boys too toward the bottom of this very long post.
Meet Grant. 
Isn't he the cutest? Grant is Monica and Jon's recent addition. They live in Ohio, but Monica (Shane's cousin) is here visiting with her two little guys for a whole month. During said month, not only will Father's Day happen, but Jon's birthday as well. I took pity on Jon and went crazy with the camera hoping to get some decent shots to fill him in on what he's missing. (Note: Jon is a photographer. I am not.) For the rest of you, just enjoy these cute kiddos. There are some of my boys too toward the bottom of this very long post.
This is Pratt:
He's Grant's big brother. Bet you couldn't tell because they don't look alike at all.
And here is CJ (and Daddy):
Did you know he is learning to swim with his face under water (with help from floaty vest)? 
He's even learning to take breaths...
...and open his eyes under the water. This makes them very red, but he loves that he can find stuff under the water like this "rocket". 
He's pretty proud of himself and we are of course proud of him too! 
Nana Claudia gave Carter a few fun rides on her legs while she worked poolside.
What a fun day, right?! 
He was very sad that it was time to get out of the pool, but Daddy helped him calm down.
THE END!
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