Finding Friday - Part 1: Getting Started

Any couple hoping to adopt can tell you that waiting to be chosen is no picnic. More couples are waiting to adopt than ever before, and fewer expectant mothers are choosing adoption. Both the choice to adopt and to place a child for adoption are deeply personal decisions. We don't pretend that, for a given situation, we know what the right choice is for anyone other than ourselves. We can tell you statistically though that less than 1% of unwed pregnancies result in an adoption and over 1/3 of unwed pregnancies end in abortion. Every successful adoption is a miracle in our eyes.

The above combination of facts leads to many couples waiting years for a successful placement. Because of this, many hopeful adoptive couples are doing a lot on their own in an effort to facilitate being matched with an expectant mother who has chosen to place her child for adoption. Each Friday this month, we'll be presenting ideas that can help adoptive parents make the connection that will lead to their own adoption miracle.

Finding Friday -Part 1: Getting Started

Your end goals:

• To have as many people as possible know you are currently hoping to adopt. At any time, they should know where to find information about you and how to contact you.
• To positively promote adoption in general.
  

First of all, decide what you are comfortable sharing with others. Not all couples feel comfortable sharing the details of their reasons for choosing to adopt. With this in mind, it is also one of the first questions that people will have when you tell them you are waiting to adopt. There are many different reasons that a couple may choose adoption. For many, the choice to adopt comes after a long struggle with infertility. We chose adoption early on in our marriage because the heart condition Megan was born with makes pregnancy very dangerous to her health. She has since had open heart surgery and has a mechanical heart valve that requires medications that cause serious birth defects.

In addition, some couples don't feel comfortable with the concept of "marketing" themselves. If you don't feel comfortable promoting yourselves, just promote adoption in general. (side note: We personally believe that much of the negativity associated with adoption in the past was likely due to the secrecy and shame associated with both out of wedlock pregnancy and infertility.)

Here are some of the easiest things to do to get started:

• E-mail blitz - Send an e-mail out to everyone you know explaining that you are certified to adopt and excited for your family to grow through adoption. Do this as soon as you are certified to adopt, and at least twice a year or quarterly after that.
• E-mail signature - Go into the settings on your email account to create an e-mail signature - something that will show up at the bottom of every e-mail you send. You can include a link to your online adoption profile or blog. Here is our e-mail signature as an example:

--
Adoption... It's about LOVE!

http://www.meganandshane.com
http://www.itsaboutlove.org

"We look at adoption as a very sacred exchange. It was not done lightly on either side." - Jaime Lee Curtis, Adoptive Mother

• Christmas Cards - You send them out every year anyway. Mention your plans to adopt and insert a small card with your contact info that your friends and family can keep handy if they hear of an expectant mother considering adoption.

Also, understand that potential birth mothers are often presented with an overwhelming number of adoptive couple referrals. Don't get discouraged if someone tells you that they passed on your information and you never hear back.

Stay tuned next Friday for more finding fun!