Finding Friday - Part 2: Adoption Online

(if you missed part 1, you can find it here)

Again, I will preface this Finding Friday post with the disclaimer that we have great respect for the sacrifice that birth mothers make in choosing adoption. It is not a decision that is taken lightly and it is not our place to look at any expectant mother considering adoption and say we know whether adoption or parenting is the right choice for her.

Our intent is to give hopeful adoptive couples resources that can help them make a connection with a birth mother who has chosen adoption. A connection that will result in a miracle that blesses their family with a child that they have been longing for. This is what we mean by "finding".

Finding Friday - Part 2: Adoption Online

Online profile through your agency: We worked with LDS Family Services for our 2 adoptions, and they include an online profile for all their adoptive couples. I believe most agencies offer a similar service. Take advantage of this as it is one of the simplest ways to make yourselves accessible online. Here are some tips for online profiles:

• Keep you profile up-to-date: This is important so that the information that others see about you accurately reflects your situation. An up-to-date profile also shows that you are actively looking to adopt and excited about adoption.
• Keep your message brief and meaningful: Prospective birth mothers look at many different profiles. Lengthy sections may be skipped over, so try to focus your profile on the things that differentiate you from other couples.
• Answer the common questions: Some of the first things a prospective birth family may want to know about you include:

Why you are choosing to adopt

Where you live (City or State, not your address)

Your feelings on gender, race, and special needs of the child you want to adopt

Level of openness you are comfortable with after placement. This can range from letters and pictures only up to frequent in-person visits.

One thing I can't emphasize enough is: Do not make statements you may not follow through on - especially regarding openness. Adoptive couples who present themselves as being comfortable with an open adoption and choose to cut off communication after placement hurt the perception of adoptive couples and and the perception of adoption in general.

Adoption Blog or Website: In addition to the online profile offered through your agency, many couples choose to set up a dedicated adoption blog or website. Family blogs are great for your friends and family to keep up with you, but they don't necessarily make it easy for someone who knows nothing about you to find out about you. There are endless possibilities of what you could include, but we'll give you a few recommendations:

• Stay Positive - Struggling with infertility and waiting to adopt is hard, but this shouldn't be the focus. Show your excitement for adoption and share the things that make you happy.
  
• Tell your story - Keep it brief, but include a little about each of your family backgrounds, how you met, and the experiences you had as a couple that led you to adoption.
• Write a letter to the birth parents of your future child - Express your feelings now as you are waiting to adopt. Be sensitive to the feelings of the birth parents (try to put yourself in their shoes). Be sincere and honest.
  
• Include your individual hobbies and interests - Be specific to set yourselves apart.
• Photos! - Include a mix of professional and personal recent photos. (Yes, we all looked our best on our wedding day, but you want photos that will make you recognizable when you meet a birth mother.)
• Contact info - Include some way to easily contact you. To avoid getting spam, don't write out your email address anywhere on your blog or website. Use contact forms on your website or use a link to the contact form for your online agency profile.

Make an adoption web button: This is a graphical link to your website, blog, or online agency profile. A web button makes it easy for friends and family to promote your adoption efforts by putting a picture on their own blogs that links to your adoption site. I've put together a tutorial here. You can also see a few examples, as well as the "copy and paste" field for our button towards the bottom left of this page.

I know this is a small post for a big topic, so send us a comment if there is anything specific you'd like help or more information on from this post. Stick with it!